very scary

About a month ago I was released from my Relief Society calling and called to teach Gospel Doctrine--hence the title of this post.

When I received the call, I was very surprised. Very. This is a perfect calling for my husband, but not for me. I never thought I'd ever be asked to teach this class. My best guess is that they'd like my hubby to teach it, but since he is presently called to a stake calling, they decided I was close enough. There really isn't any other reason I can think of.

Seriously though, I really need to stop complaining and just embrace it. I said "yes" so what good is complaining going to do?

Today I taught my first lesson. It reminded me of some of my 4th period classes at school. See, 4th period is the first of my three math models classes. Sometimes when I am teaching a particularly foreign topic (remember--I have a math degree, not a business degree), my 4th period gets my "first attempt." I teach the topic to them, and then figure out what I can do better to teach the same topic to 5th and 6th periods. I don't think I taught false doctrine today(a big concern of mine), but I know that if I had two more chances to teach the lesson again, I'd been much better the second and third times.

So far, two very good things have come from my new calling. First, I have received so much support from my friends and ward members. They are so kind and uplifting. One particularly close friend brought me a present yesterday in anticipation of my first lesson. She brought me powerade and power bars with the nicest card declaring that I would have scripture POWER during my lesson! Awesome, I know... The second thing is that I have been studying the scriptures like never before. I must have studied the scriptures at BYU during my religion classes, but I don't remember that. I'm talking more about personal scripture study. This year's Gospel Doctrine class is studying the Old Testament. What a challenge for someone like me. If it were the Book of Mormon or Doctrine and Covenants, I'd feel a lot more qualified. But the Old Testament...yikes!

The big difference between my professional teaching and now my Sunday teaching is this: at school I have a diploma hanging on the wall that declares my qualifications to teach my math classes, but there are no such qualifications that I have to teach the Old Testament. I've realized that I'm definitely not a gospel scholar, and sadly, I'd not even describe myself as a gospel student. I'm just a disciple who tries to live right. That's it. But I know that's not enough, so I'm grateful (or I'll be grateful in the future) for this opportunity given to me (forced upon me) to become a gospel student. Realistically I've got no hopes of ever being a scholar. I know my limitations.