Romance 101

One of my wife's most exquisite talents is that she is able to deliver cutting remarks in a sincere, loving way. I think me, her sister and maybe our children are the only recipients of this charm. A conversation Brandy and I had today provides a good example of her acumen in this area.

Note: These remarks always follow a ridiculous statement that probably either didn't need to be said or should not have been said.

We were watching a show about the top 10 Caribbean resorts, mostly to humor me to see if any of the resorts were on islands I've lived on. In response to a line from the show I looked at Brandy and said, "If romance was a class in school, I would have failed."

In a very casual way she said, "you wouldn't even have signed up for the course."

It never dawned on me that it would have been an elective.

I thought back on the times in our relationship where I should have been the most romantic and I really think my shortcomings are rooted in flawed planning.

To explain, I must take you to six months into our marriage and the first cutting remark that I can remember.

We were driving on I-35 in Austin and I was bragging about my marriage proposal and how perfect it was. Brandy let me blab on and on and when I was done she quietly told me that she felt my marriage proposal was more akin to a business deal where you shake hands afterward.

As she shared her thoughts about the event, a whole new world was opened to me and I knew instinctively that she was justified to feel the way she did and that I was very lucky she accepted my awkward proposal.

I worked the words of my marriage proposal over in my mind many times before I actually delivered them. She knew that I had never before told a girl that I loved her -- that I was saving that statement for the woman I married. My planning was incomplete, however, because I built my proposal (Sounds businesslike, doesn't it?) around that whole statement. I thought nothing of setting, place or delivery.

I asked her to marry me while we sat on a picnic bench across from each other at Zilker Park in Austin. There was nothing special about that place for either of us and there was nothing special about the atmosphere there either. While my lack of planning in those areas is somewhat regrettable, to me the most regrettable thing about the whole event is that I did not get down on one knee when I proposed. I was ignorant. Honestly, I was. My boys will know better.

I think one of the reasons Brandy is so good with verbiage that humbles me is that she doesn't overdo it. She never abuses her power. She only delivers the remarks when I am bragging or making light of something.

If I was a more serious minded fellow, I might have enrolled in Romance 101, if there is such a thing. But then I wouldn't have had the pleasure of learning at the feet of the master tutor -- my beautiful wife, Brandy.